Spring Break 2009 – Grandma

I just returned from the Gulf Coast.  It was Spring Break 2009 and I had a wild time.  I went shopping for Cheerios with my Grandma, ate curry chicken sandwiches at Le Bakery, and met with the ladies of El Pueblo to discuss their website.  I know, most of you are blushing and wondering how I could publish even these brief descriptions of activities on the web.  Still, it’s my style to say it like it is.

Seeing Grandma was my main goal.  I love y’all – Caitlin, Bootsy, and the rest of the Gulf Coast crew – but Grandma’s family.  The last time I had been down to see her was August 2008, when I had my follow up visit with the surgeon.  Although she’s pretty feisty as an 86 year old, each visit more clearly shows the signs of her aging.  I think if I were to live there, the changes are gradual enough that I might not notice them.  With the longer snapshots of time between visits, they’re hard to miss.

The big thing that seems to be going is her short-term memory.  We were in Big Lots looking for Cheerios.  We didn’t find the kind she wanted.  Five minutes later we were close to the same aisle and she said, “We didn’t look for Cheerios yet.”  ”Yes, we did Grandma.”  ”Are you sure?” “Yes, Grandma.”  That’s just one example of many.  Her long-term memory seems to be going, too.  She doesn’t remember how to make the bread pudding she always used to make.  She has a hard time remembering peoples names.

Her driving (off road) scares me most.  A couple months ago, she apparently took a turn a little too wide near a construction area that caused her to land in the soft mud.  She had to get a tow truck to pull her out.  That incident came on the heels of her being pulled over by a police officer for driving too slow.  Apparently, another driver called the police and complained about her.  She was shaken and her confidence broken.

Although it’s scary for her to be on the road, it’s scary thinking about her trapped in her house.  The closest store is Walgreens, three miles down the road.  Her son, my uncle, Brian and his wife live about 5 miles away.  For the rest of us, that’s no problem.  But at 86 with the increased traffic and new road construction, it’s a nightmare for Grandma.  She already spends most of her day at home alone.  Phone calls help, but she is used to seeing people all the time.  Just before Katrina hit, two of her sons – Peter and Denis – still lived at home.  So there were people around, even if they lived their own lives.

She still has her wit and her smile, she’s just slowing down.  When people are at the house, she is very chatty and very active.  It was so sweet to see her with her second newest great-grandchild.  Elizabeth was born in September 2008. Grandma loves to hold her, smile at her, and make eyes.  She is transformed.  I suspect she loves babies.  More deeply, though, I also suspect it connects her with her youth.  As a mother of eleven boys, there was almost always a baby in the house for twenty years.  Although tough times, I know she looks back at those times with fond memories.  Through the newborns, she reconnects with the family history that seems to be fading for her.

When I see her, I wonder what I will be like in 50 years.  Will I be as healthy as she is?  Will fate be as kind to me as it has been to her?  So much of what is important to me is being physically fit, moving, and (trying) to keep my brain sharp.  How will I handle the loss of muscle, the loss of memory, the loss of loved ones?  These questions come unbidden to my mind when I see her.  I worry about her.  I worry about me.  I should take solace in the fact that I have her hearty Scots blood in my veins, but the solace doesn’t keep me from wondering.  I try to thoroughly enjoy each moment I have now, knowing that it will fade into a memory, which in turn will fade.

In the end, I will learn the answers to these questions.  Everyone does.  It’s part of living.